I was confused at first, “Haven’t I done this one already?” I asked myself in the early morning haze of five thirty AM. Except I haven’t! That was what characters I would like to be, and while it’s important to maintain a good relationship with yourself, I can’t claim I would ever manage to be my own best friend.
Does any of this make sense?
OK, so this weeks TTT is all about those characters that I’m pretty sure wouldn’t drive me up the wall or sap the life juice from me. In real life this is a short list; people make me sleepy and/or desperate for alien abduction. But not these weirdos! After the cut is a list of people I’ve deemed strange or silly enough to be BFFs with.
Top Ten Tuesday is brought to you by That Artsy Reader Girl.
Mark Watney from The Martian, by Andy Weir: Anyone who can maintain their sense of humor while almost constantly dying and being stranded on a alien planet hundreds of days away from earth has got to a pretty awesome friend. Think about how funny he would be just hanging out with you at the neighbors BBQ, or tagging along with you to the store. He probably never wants to eat another potato, but I bet I could convince him to try the fries from Sergio’s– those things are bomb.
HRH Prince Henry from Red, White & Royal Blue, by Casey Mcquiston: He too, likes Return of the Jedi best. Everyone’s always wailing about Empire Strikes Back. But give me Leia on speeder and Ewoks and I’m happy. And the beginning is so cool! Never mind that the single most important figure in the Rebel Alliance is being held as a slave by a crime boss and only her brother comes to save her. Wait- I’m getting off track. Henry is smart, sweet, and gay gay gay. And I bet if you were cold he’d let you borrow one of his Burberry coats, because he’s also a gentlemen.
Kinomoto Sakura from Cardcaptor Sakura, by CLAMP: This one doesn’t quiet count because when I was a child I wanted to be fifth grader Sakura. Now I’m very much an adult and I feel protective of her as if she were my own child. But! If I was in fifth grade and Sakura was there, I’d want to be her best friend. She’s funny, kind, brave, and hardworking- the kind of kid you’d be super excited to have be friends with your own kid. Good job, Papa Kinomoto, you’ve done really well for a single dad.
Cimorene from Dealing with Dragons, by Patricia C. Wrede: She’s fiesty, she’s funny, she doesn’t give a damn what the establishment thinks. Throwing that middle finger in the air as she says “Fuck this shit.” and goes to set up her own career as a dragon’s princess… Wait, you’re saying that’s not exactly how it happened? Naw, I can’t hear you over how many fucks me and my bestie are not giving.
Sinjir from the Aftermath Trilogy, by Chuck Wendig: Speaking of giving no fucks! I don’t really drink ever, but if I did- I’d want it to be with this guy. Sure he’s got a lot of emotional hang ups and some unresolved trauma, but so do I! We can drink and use our sharp wit and copious reserves of sarcasm to fend of most attempts to get to know us. We shall be close to each other and our significant others and that is it! Oh, and Jas, we’ll be close to Jas, too.
Murderbot from the Murderbot Diaries, by Martha Wells: I mean sure, Murderbot doesn’t want to be my friend. Murderbot doesn’t want to be anyone’s friend, but especially a human’s friend. Regardless! That makes them prime friendship material in my book!
Dicken from The Secret Garden, by Frances Hodgson Burnett: He’s probably magic, right? That’s why all the animals love him. And if you can’t have magical powers, the next best thing is making friends with someone who can. Also he will most likely always be willing to help you garden, one of those friends who stops by to check in and see’s you pulling weeds and just starts helping, without even being asked. And he has a pet crow.
OK, so we ran out of good friend material- story of my life. So let’s wrap this up by adding some protagonists I would never, ever be friends with. These are from books I read and really didn’t like, so it should be fun. Like blood letting and physcial exams… wait, maybe I’m confused…
Anita Blake from the Anita Blake, Vampire Hunter Series, by Laurell K. Hamilton: Constantly talking about her tiny waist and her enourmous breasts aside. She is the most angry, agressive, anti-woman woman I have every read about. At first it wasn’t too bad, but the series has gone on well passed where it should, and Anita just gets worse and worse every book. She rarely ever makes friends with other women, as they are all her “rivals” and are envious of her incredible beauty and the bevy of well-endowed men who follow her everywhere she goes. And she’s selfish! Why does she get as many lovers as she wants but when a guy she’s not even that into meets up with his long lost boyfriend from centuries before, it’s insta-rage. Come on, Anita. Or more specifically, Laurell.
Vanyel from Magic’s Pawn, by Mercedes Lackey: God the first two books in the series were boring. But I wanted to like them! I read them, didn’t I? But Vanyel is just the worst; he’s moody, gloomy, and indesive. Hanging out with him would most likely just be you, listening to him complain about every single aspect of his life while he plucked tunelessly at a guitar and ignored your repeated requests that he put his cigarette out. He’d probably listen to Morrisey and like Tarintino movies, augh. He’s that thirty-four year old still unironically wearing a beret over his waist length greasy hair.
Alright folks! That’s it for this week, look forward to a review of The Martian by Andy Weir on the horizon, because I just finished reading that stress factory and I’m beginning to formulate a review for it somewhere in the back of my mind. Currently, however, I am fighting the urge to go back to sleep. And my cat, who has decided August is cold enough to warrant repeated attempts to sleep on my keyboard.