Spoiler: I’m not on social media. There’s so much toxicity that I chose just to stay in my little corner of the interwebs with you nice people and I’m completely fine with that. On occasion I’ve entertained the idea of signing up for Twitter or Instagram for the sole purpose of following a lot of authors, musicians, and actors, but then I remember the world is a dark, ugly place, and even the most carefully curated “following” list is bound to cast a shadow at times.
It’s been a long winter, and I am rather tired of shadows.
But in a fictional world full of fictional people, what would it be like to follow some of my favorite heroes and villains online? Probably awesome, right? Let’s find out.
Top Ten Tuesday is brought to you by That Artsy Reader Girl.
Mark Watney from The Martian. Live tweets from Mars! Not really, but it’d be fascinating if the public had been privy to Marks sense of humor in the face of danger and near negative odds of survival.
Prince Henry of Wales from Red, White and Royal Blue. Sure in reality it would be managed by some royal handler, but if Henry was allowed to manage his own it would be a place of beautiful insight and self deprecating humor.
Taako from The Adventure Zone. He’d be on here all the time. And Instagram. And Tik-Tok. Probably not Facebook because I could see Taako hating The Zuckerberg.
Murderbot from The Murderbot Series. Would Murderbot have a twitter account? Absolutely not. The idea of being “social” is anathema to our brave bot, but that’s not going to stop me from imagining the endless opportunities for awkwardness and observations like this.
Mr. Bones from The Aftermath Trilogy. Pure, murderous joy in droid form. Mr. Bones is a blessing and a curse on all those who know him. Destructive, overly protective, and amazing. He’ll destroy everything in order to save the ones he loves. And yes, he does love.
Baz from Carry On. Baz is the articulate and well rounded version of Draco Malfoy that Rowling never gave us. Evil? Um, well, maybe, but like… in a positive way. He absolutely felt like more of a main character to me then Simon Snow, and that’s OK. I always love the damaged, sarcastic ones the most.
Catherine from Catherine, Called Birdy. Can’t a girl catch a break? She just wants to spend time with the castle dogs and not marry all the losers her father keeps trying to wed her off to. She’d have some biting commentary in this day and age, let me tell you.
Biff from Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ’s Childhood Pal. Biff has a lot to say about Jesus and religion, mostly because he grew up next door to Jesus when he was still “just Josh” and watched him shove dead lizards in his mouth while they were toddlers. He also has a lot to say about rap, speeches, and sarcasm; because he invented it.
Eight is good, right? Because I’ve been working on this post for two hours and photoshop is really starting to upset me My love/hate relationship with this product is going to lead to my gruesome and untimely end.
Happy Tuesday, everybody!