Top Ten Tuesday

Books I’d Give Different Titles To

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This weeks TTT is all about books I’d give different titles to and… it is gonna be weird. I went right passed taking this seriously and dove head first into sarcasm and strangeness. It’s all very tongue and cheek and I haven’t slept well in days so I’m blaming anything and everything on that.

In other news, I’m one of the lucky thousands who’s getting their power turned off (again) in California. Never mind the death, waste, chaos, and general backlash of the last one, let’s do it again! /sarcasm

Top Ten Tuesday is brought to you by That Artsy Reader Girl.

Red White and Royal Blue

Red, White and Royal Blue:
1) Red, White, and Gender Queer
2) Supersonic Man
3) Reelection and Erections (I can’t decide if I hate myself more for this one)

Tempests

Tempests and Slaughter:
1) Hormones and Confusion
2) God Fuckery and Shenanigans
3) Someday that Prick will get Turned into a Tree

The Martian

The Martian:
1) How to Fuck Up and Still Survive on Mars
3) Potato Growing for the Botanist on Mars
3) The Cubs are Not a Viable Team

First Test

First Test:
1) King Jonathan has Become an Asshole
2) An Incredibly Sexist Beginning
3) Why Are You So Tall?

Saga

Saga:
1) Pain
2) Sadness
3) Misery

What if it's us

What if it’s Us:
1) What if We’re Disaster Gays
2) What if This Story Wasn’t About Seventeen Year Olds
3) What if New York was the Stereotype Everyone Always Thought it Was

Watchmaker

The Watchmaker of Filigree Street:
1) The Watchmaker of What the Actual Fuck
2) The Watchmaker Who Doesn’t Play a Part for Over One Hundred Pages
3) The Watchmaker of Directionless Plot

mansfield

Mansfield Park:
1) The Importance of Being Boring
2) Fanny is Actually a Stick
3) Mary Crawford Gets Away Safely

Guide

The Gentleman’s Guide to Vice and Virtue:
1) The Gentleman’s Guide to Being an Insufferable Asshole
2) The Gentleman’s Guide to Awkward Sexual Encounters
3) The Gentleman’s Guide to Writing Harry/Draco AU OOC Fanfic

Goblet

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire:
1) Harry Potter and the Unnecessary Plot Devices
2) Harry Potter and the Teenage Angst
3) Harry Potter and The Spare
4) Harry Potter and He’s Way Too Happy on This Cover
5) Harry Potter and The Missed Opportunity for Gay*

 

That was fun, but I feel like I should apologize? Was it just fun for me? Maybe. Anyway, I’m going to soak up as much internet and electricity as I can before the power gets turned off.

 

*Bonus included because Harry Potter Titles are just too much fun to come up with. Also this could be the title for literally every book.

 

9 thoughts on “Books I’d Give Different Titles To

  1. That is quite an impressive array of “things to validate my assumption that I didn’t want to read most of these anyway,” in a much faster and more fun way than scoping out Goodreads reviews. (except for HP, where I lovingly concede that you are not wrong, and Mansfield Park, because I love that one mainly for the reasons people dislike it)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I actually really love six out of ten of these books, especially Goblet of Fire, Tempests and Slaughter, and Red, White and Royal Blue, so by no means should you disregard those titles. And Saga is really good, it just tears your heart out and jettisons it into the vacuum of space. As for Mansfield Park, I guess I like my clergy characters more along the lines of Henry Tilney then Edmund Bertrum.

      Like

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